Wide Eyed and Capsized

I want to apologize for my lack of posts. My life has not been easy this week. On Saturday, my boyfriend's father passed away. Its been extremely hard for me since I was very close with his father. He was only 56 and it was a total shock to everyone who knew him. I am trying to be strong and I am trying to help my boyfriend (Jason) as much as possible, but I've been finding it very difficult to bring myself back to a normal life. Yesterday I didn't get out of bed. I know I can't be this way, but I never expected something like this to happen within our lives. Phil was an amazing man and he loved everyone around him. Its not going to be easy getting on without him. Its even harder because Jason and I are planning on getting engaged in the next two years. Losing someone is never easy, but losing a father or mother is probably the toughest thing anyone will have to live through. Phil was so special to me, he always used to bring me pumpkin spice lattes after dinner and we would watch the SciFi channel on his couch with him. He always said he wanted daughters and I always felt like I filled that place for him. Its only been about five days now and I just keep telling myself that I have to go on with life. Its just very difficult when you lose someone that you loved so much. I know things will get better for us, they have to.